The Wrinkles Tell Their Story {Respecting the aged}

"Lately, I have been missing my grandparents ‘a whole bushel basket full’- as grandma used to say.  Not the kind of miss where ‘my heart’s heavy’, but the kind of miss where I wish I could just sit down with a cup of fresh brewed coffee grandpa used to buy from Kroger and have a nice long chat.  A real heart to heart about all of life’s woes and joys from gardening to raising kids. 

I would love to hear the stories I heard growing up, once again, but this time I would truly take it in, take notes… try to learn from what they said.  As a kid, I loved them so much, but I took them for granted more than I realized. The glory stories of youth past turned into white noise I would love to hear, but not truly listen to.    The life's regrets and heartache stories turned into a mental game ruled by my self-righteous thoughts of, “I’m glad I’m not them and have to live with that the rest of my life”.  Thoughts that drowned out any good advice which may have helped me later in life.  Much of what God laid before me to learn from was never truly absorbed, taken to heart in a way that was available to me, then.

Many stories spoken from their mouths to my ears will live on forever, though.  Warnings, teachings, and words of wisdom will not be lost, especially the ones directly from the WORD of God.   

“For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven
    and do not return there but water the earth,
making it bring forth and sprout,
    giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater,
 so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth;
    it shall not return to me empty,
but it shall accomplish that which I purpose,
    and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.” Isaiah 55:10-11

God’s Word is power!  It will accomplish what God established before the foundation of the world was even laid.  Sometimes we glean Truth later from a person’s life.  Sometimes, maybe, we weren’t ready to understand it yet, but the Holy Spirit will bring to remembrance (John 14:26) what we need to hear at exactly the right time. 

All my grandparents weren’t Christians until late in life; both sides of our family were riddled with alcohol, divorce, self-righteous living, and anger.  Anytime I would hear my grandparents try to give life lessons, I didn’t see the value in them like I should have.  If I had a dollar every time my grandma would say, “To be fifty years younger and to know then what I know now!”  That made me doubt the relevance of her words in the moment.

Our world uses lines “old school” or “last season” … in a way that makes fun of what age brings to the table.  If you notice, what was so last season will be in season in a couple of seasons.  Hold on to those bellbottoms or paisley shirts… they will come back in season soon enough.  Companies make billions of dollars in profit to sell anti-aging crème to people who don’t want to go out of season.  We all want to be in season!  I just bought some anti-aging products from a friend of mine to help her out with her new business, also- partly to help my sister in adopting a child because she was getting part of the proceeds from the party, and partly because when I look in the mirror I see a whole lot of wrinkles forming in every corner of my face and my grandma’s voice rings in my ears. 
 
Before my grandma suffered from dementia she said, “Kate, if I could tell you one thing I wish I would have heard at your age it would be….” I waited on baited breathe to hear a rare glimpse of grandma’s vulnerable heart laid open before me… “Use Oil of Olay, every day.  You don’t want wrinkles like mine.”  Really?  That is the legacy she wanted to pass on?  Don’t get wrinkles like her, use lotion? There are only a handful of times in my life I recall grandma disclosing anything directly to me.  Yes, it did seem veneer at the time, especially from a hard-working certified nurse’s assistant with four kids.  But I thought, “Okay, gotcha!  Will do.”
 
The funny thing is I never thought a thing about that sweet little wrinkly face being anything but beautiful.  I loved every single wrinkle because they told a story.  They told her story of living through the depression, a divorce in the 40’s, a second marriage to my grandpa who struggled with alcohol until his salvation in his early 60’s, and raising four kids primarily on her own.  The deep creases in her face said she took good care of her invalid husband for six years after his massive stroke a couple years following his salvation.  She took good care of his every need at their home for over six years until his premature death at the age of 67.  The practice she had working as a nurse’s assistant gave her wisdom and her relationship with Jesus gave her the strength to take care of grandpa in his darkest hours.  My eyes traced the treasured lines on her face as I remembered sharing my 5th birthday with grandpa, on February 15th, 1984.  I sat on his lap, even though he couldn’t talk or interact with me much, his eyes followed my every move and I knew he loved me as they sang and we blew out the candles on the birthday cake grandma made for us, together.  She raised my dad, my two uncles, and aunt the best she knew how and loved them with all she had.  Dad was saved at the age of 17 and went to Asbury Theological seminary in Wilmore, KY, earned his Masters of Divinity Degree.  He has been in ministry for over forty years as a pastor, evangelist, and founder/ director of Eagle House Ministries.  He has led many to a saving relationship with Jesus Christ, and has encouraged many faithful in their walk.  Each wrinkle was not in vain, each one meant something special to so many. 
 
I have always used some type of face lotion after that day not because I didn’t like how she looked or didn’t want to go out of season, but mostly to remember her and honor her memory in some small way.  I see it as God’s provision for telling me through my wrinkly sweet grandma’s face, but the mention of age makes us automatically think of worn out bodies, outdated information, and unneeded insight.  I can almost hear the theme song for Les Miserables playing in the background as our minds think the dreary opposite of what the Word of God commands us to think about age.
 
Leviticus 19:32 “Stand up in the presence of the elderly, and show respect for the aged. Fear your God. I am the LORD.”

1 Peter 5:5 Likewise, you who are younger, be subject to the elders. Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”

​In Our Consumer Driven Mindset, We Could Learn a Few Things From the Aged:
Use empty butter dishes instead of Tupperware…
Sew patches over holes in your jeans…
Save bacon grease to add flavor to any recipe…
Collect rain water in empty buckets to water your garden…
Duct tape will fix virtually any and everything…
Roll up your sleeves and use those muscles instead of looking at them…
Read an actual book instead of watch tv…
Help “raise a house” for a neighbor…
​Haste is Waste...
​If you don't have the money, you don't need it...
Plant enough food in your garden to feed your family and have plenty to give away…
Can your own vegetables and fruit to preserve throughout the winter...
Musical instruments come in many different shapes and sizes, buckets and pots count…
Dawn liquid soap can get virtually any stain out of anything, combined at times with lemon juice or vinegar…
Canola oil is good for a tummy ache…
You cannot live without bleach… lots and lots of bleach…
 
These are a few of the snippets of wisdom my grandparents passed on to me; some, if not all of them are wonderful words I will cherish forever… Except the canola oil one… canola oil is nasty, so that one can stay with grandma😉 
 
In Our Independent, "Me-Focused" Culture, We Could Learn a Few Things From the Aged:
Respect your parents and the authority in your life…
Never use the word “divorce” when speaking with your spouse…
People who hurt you have been hurt…
People are worth fighting for….
We all mess up sometimes and we want to be forgiven, so forgive…
Cheer up, joy comes in the morning…
Hard work never hurt anybody…
Laughter is good medicine, God prescribes many doses a day…
Jesus forgave me so I can forgive them…
Life is too short to walk around being mad all the time…
You always have enough to help somebody out…
Pray about it…
 
I know it would please the LORD for more of us to seek out the elderly in our lives and listen with new ears.  When they are speaking, truly hear what their heart says.  So much has happened to them, they have lived through more than we could ever know.  They are like an unopened gift.  When you start ripping open the paper- more and more is revealed and you will see the masterpiece that has taken a lifetime to create!  Jesus is still working on all of us.  We all need each other, so sit back, sip a cup of coffee and truly listen to what God is going to say through the white-haired saint God has placed next door, in the bleachers, or church pew next to you.  Seek out godly wisdom from the aged.  Titus 2 men and women are desperately needed in this generation. There is so much to learn, so much to gain, so much to give.  We all have a purpose at any age… The aged has lived a lifetime worth of respect!  Listen with new ears.

Leviticus 19:32 “Stand up in the presence of the elderly, and show respect for the aged. Fear your God. I am the LORD.”